My Bio

Anne Louise began her writing career in the fifth grade. Later in life she began writing articles based on her experiences as a wife, mother, and evil stepmom, which earned her a column in the local newspapers, the Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader.

Here is her official “Author Bio.” See, it’s so official, it’s even labeled “Author Bio” at the top.

 

Author Bio ……………  anne louise reinhard     

          I wanted to start my author bio with something catchy and impressive, like a fabulous nickname that captured my essence and highlighted my ability to contribute something magical to the world. Unfortunately, my childhood nickname was “Bootsie.” And my adult nickname is “Mom.”

Then I checked to see if there might have been some auspicious song popular at the moment of my birth. Well, my mother either should have expelled me earlier for “Pretty Woman,” or held on a little longer and birthed me to “Leader of the Pack.” Instead, I got “Baby Love.” I don’t even know what to say about that.

That left me with writing a resumé, which is boring and crammed with sticky formatting issues. So, not entirely because I don’t know how to format an actual resumé – but mostly – I decided to write the official, the certified, the authoritative…

Top Ten List of anne louise

10.               I wrote my first novel in 5th grade; it was the tragic saga of a lemon-lime family dynasty called “Fruits” which borrowed heavily, perhaps criminally, from Alex Haley’s “Roots.”

9.                 Last year, I took courses for a Copyediting Certificate; although I did well in the first two courses, I decided focusing that much on detail might not be a healthy career path for someone who cleans under the

baseboards for recreation.

8.                 My writing experience includes an astonishing number of checks, most of them good.

7.                 I remember when “text” was not a verb.

6.                 I disagree with Mark Twain about shooting all the adverbs; I frequently like to leave some alive.

5.                 I make my own greeting cards; I write really bad poetry in them, but not on purpose, which is sad.

4.                 My secret goal is to write like a cross between Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry, and a wire-haired terrier.

3. 2. 1.          Seven is a much better number than ten.