Hope Springs Eternal (aka I’m a Sucker) – part the second/B/whatever

After scaring the mail carrier, I made sure to stay inside the next day, and as I had predicted, the bills were delivered.  Oh joy.  I also received an “Important Delivery Letter” marked “Second Notice”.  I didn’t recall any “First Notice”, but went ahead and opened it anyway.  Thank goodness I did, because the Sweepstakes Clearinghouse Department of Notifications had been trying to reach me about my $2,100,000 sweepstakes identification number, and I needed to call them right away.

Not being a complete fool, I knew this was a trick.  I knew full well that I hadn’t entered any sweepstakes.  Furthermore, I knew that just making the phone call would put me on who-knows-how-many mailing lists for things like pleather umbrellas and self-folding socks.  I knew it was a scam.

So of course I called.  An actual person answered the phone.  This was a bad sign; any legitimate company would have at least put me on hold. But the young lady was very nice as she asked me to please identify myself and give my $2,100,000 sweepstakes number, so I did.  When she asked for my phone number, I hesitated, but then I reasoned that it was probably already on her caller ID, so I gave it to her.  She congratulated me; my $2,100,000 sweepstakes identification number was now confirmed.  Hooray!  Then she began to tell me about their special offers for people with confirmed numbers.

Well, I may not be the sharpest knife in the deck, but at this point I realized that I’d been suckered.  I walked the phone over to the front door, opened it, and said, “No, thank you very much; have a nice day,” and hung up.  Then I closed the door.  My practice had paid off.

Tune in next week for part the third of me being not a complete fool, but pretty darn close to it.