Hope Springs Eternal (aka I’m a Sucker) part three

After the last episode, I called the sweepstakes company back to ask that my information be removed from their database.  But apparently, once I gave them my phone number, I was locked into the system, and it was impossible for a phone agent to take me out.  A polite gentleman gave me an address where I could send a letter with my removal request, but repeatedly asked me if I really wanted to miss my chance at $2,100,000?

Yep, I really did.  I wrote the company’s address on my “to do immediately” list, and of course that’s as far as it went.  Good thing I didn’t write to them, though, or I wouldn’t have gotten my next mailer from the Sweepstakes Clearinghouse Department of Notifications – with 6 checks for $400.00.  Woohoo!  Clearly, I had been hasty in labeling the whole thing a scam.  I would enjoy the $2,400, and readjust my outlook on life and prize letters.  From now on, I would live each new day in the hope of promising mail offers.  

As I worked into my new attitude, I began to wonder why they sent six separate checks.  Looking more closely, I saw that each check was marked “not a check”.  Huh???

These were credit vouchers, and could only be used to purchase the items shown on the enclosed brochure.  Such as a $779.95 laptop that would leave me with a remaining balance of $379.95, payable by check or credit card, or by using their convenient lay-away plan.  All this was explained in the “Official Directive”, otherwise known as a “letter”, in which J. Johnston of the Sweepstakes Clearinghouse Department of Notifications expressed that he was extremely happy to pass on this wonderful news.

Well, I would be extremely happy not to buy anything from his dumb old Sweepstakes Clearinghouse Whatever, so there.  How stupid did these people think I was?  (That is a rhetorical question, btw)  My next new attitude was going to be cold and impervious to all mail offers and salespeople.  It wouldn’t be long before I got to try out this new attitude; tune in next week for the fourth and final (yes, there is a God) installment of me not being such a complete fool after all.