Testing Negative for Foibles

Maybe it’s me,

but it’s possible that I have been unfair to my family in some of these articles. Perhaps it has been unkind of me to wax humorous about their many foibles. It may have been unwise to make such sport of my husband.

Nah, I didn’t think so.

Lest we forget, what did my beloved spouse say when I first started writing for the newspaper? – “Well, as long as you get paid for it, then I can take it.” Doesn’t that sound like a blanket statement covering pretty much anything?

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Golf Balls at the Mall

This article appeared in the Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader in July 2004

Maybe it’s me………….

but is it possible to understand boys? I’m not referring to men with this question, but to the child-sized-handle-with-care edition of the species. And I’m not talking about stuff like when you give them a toy, they play with the box. Or that they like bugs and lizards. I’m talking about the seriously incomprehensible goofy things they do.

Last week I took the kids to the mall to shop for Dad’s birthday. I only took 3 of the 5. That would be 3/5 of the usual chaos. 60%. Only slightly over 50%. In fact, I figure it was closer to actually being 50%, since I had strategically planned this trip for a time when the 3-year old was in school.

So, this is do-able, I think to myself. They’re all old enough to reason, and none have been expelled from school yet, so they must know something about how to behave properly in public. Before we exit the car, I give the mall behavior speech, just in case. “No running, no yelling, no straying. You must behave with consideration for others.” That should cover it, I feel. We’re good to go.

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The Mall Adventure Continues

This article appeared in the Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader in July 2004

Maybe it’s me………….

but do kids not get when they have crossed the line? And wouldn’t it be nice if they would just see the line and choose not to cross it?

If you recall, in last week’s episode, our heroine (that would be me) was about to enter the mall with 3 children. The “Golf Ball Incident” had been successfully averted, the mall speech had been reiterated, the birds were singing, and the sun was shining. We were good to go. Little knowing what fate has in store for me, I venture into the men’s clothing section of a fancy department store, with the children………….

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