What I learned at work today…

Keeping a water bottle on your computer desk means which of the following:

  1. You should keep the water bottle tightly closed when not in use.
  2. No matter how far from the keyboard you place the water bottle, if it spills, it will drench the keyboard.
  3. You only have two hands, no matter how many you need to hold the keyboard upside-down without pressing a single key as you shut down your computer using a wet mouse on a sopping mousepad.
  4. No, you do not have any more paper towels in the desk drawer.

You guessed it:  all of the above.

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Is there such a thing as cheating at “Game of Thrones?” When I thought he’d killed Arya in book three, I skipped ahead to see if she had any more chapters, vowing I would read no more if she were really dead. Fortunately, she wasn’t, and I could keep reading. Or perhaps unfortunately, if I was hoping to get any work done today.

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On adulthood

In spite of the fact that he has turned 18 and is legally an adult – supposedly capable of living on his own – my son knows no more about how to do that than he did the other day when he was 17.

ApPARENTly, he could still use some instruction from us.

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I have to go to the bathroom, but I’m afraid to leave the computer. See, I’m waiting for my Tumblr award – would that be a Tumblr Awrd? – which should be announced any minute. I’m sure I must have set some sort of record by tumblng for over 8 months and still having a total of 1 – count ’em – 1 – follower.  And no, it’s no my mother. If she were at all tech savvy, then I’m sure I’d have 2 followers. Well, pretty sure.

Does no one tumbl anymore? Or is it me?

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What’s the point?

Ah, natural deodorant… so you can smell like you’re not wearing any at all. Wait, was that really my goal? Ummm, no.

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Musing on the muse…

If I had a muse, it would be a chocolate chip cookie. If I had a chocolate chip cookie, I would eat it. And then, obviously, I would have to go get another muse before I could start creating anything. So for me, attempting any type of creativity today would mean a certain amount of weight gain. Clearly, we don’t want that. Time for a game of solitaire, then.

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Gurus – what do they know?

Fitness gurus say that exercise boosts your energy level for the rest of the day. What a load of claptrap that is. Once I’ve done my workout and walked the dogs, I’m ready to go back to bed – too tired to even shower. Ewww. By the time I’ve recovered from exercising, the day is more than half over. I say, if you want to raise your energy level, eat more chocolate.

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Technologically impaired?

Ok, so let’s just say there are 1,627 employees in a particular organization. Among those 1,627, there are approximately 25 responsible for tech support, leaving 1,602 non-techies. And let’s imagine that “my friend” (one of the 1,602)  was meeting one of the 25 for the first time, and upon hearing my name – I mean my friend’s name – the tech support guy says, “Oh, I’ve heard of you. What now?”

Would that indicate a problem?

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There ought to be a law

Anyone accepting electronic queries of any kind should be required to make use of  their email’s “auto-reply” function. It would be nice to know whether I got silently rejected or my query was never even received. At least then I’d know exactly why I was drinking.

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An oxymoron?

Is it an oxymoron to say I received a good rejection?

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